Lost: Meet Kevin Johnson

Tonight was the last episode of Lost to air before the show moves to 10 p.m. on Thursday nights on April 24. The shows lead-in will then be Grey's Anatomy, which should help boost the program's dwindling Nielsen numbers. But enough about that stuff! On to the show.

The recap
Freighter-land: Sayid and Desmond hear an alarm and go out to deck to find Captain Gault slugging someone else, keeping them from leaving the boat. He says it is to save their lives. Sayid gets a minute in with Michael Dawson/Kevin Johnson and asks Michael why he is there on the boat. Michael replies: "I'm here to die." So, he's still a bundle of sunshine. Later, Sayid and Desmond confront Michael, who is working in the engine room, and tell him that they need to know why he is on the boat. Michael tells all in form of flashbacks. After the story, Sayid is more than a little mad to know that Michael - the traitor and murderer - is working with Benjamin Linus. So Sayid strong-arms Michael into Gault's cabin and tells the captain that Johnson is "not who you think he is" and that he survived Oceanic 815. And that his name is not, in fact, Kevin Johnson. "It's Michael Dawson. And he's a traitor."

Flashback-land: Some unknown amount of time after getting off the island (!), Michael got a place in New York City. He apparently didn't like it, because he pinned a suicide note to his jacket, revved his car up by the dock of a bay, and slammed the car into a wall. Instead of the water. Because Michael is a moron. Michael survives, much to his dismay. He hallucinates Libby is his nurse, which is kind of creepy. (His real nurse was kind of like Carla, on Scrubs. I kind of expected her to call Michael "Bambi.")

Michael then visits his mom, because he wants to see Walt. (!) Ma won't let him. Apparently, Walt does not want to see Michael. He has nightmares during the middle of the night, panic attacks, something. It's terrible. Awful. And apparently, Ma has to keep the fact that Walt and Michael are alive a secret. They have fake names, apparently. Ma tells Michael that until he can explain what he was doing during the two months he was missing, he gave up his parental rights. Michael walks away, and briefly sees Walt in the window.

Michael then continues to be a jerk by selling Jin's watch, for a gun. With bullets. To kill himself with. Again, jerk. Michael is about to pull the trigger on himself in an alley when Mr. Friendly walks on by. They fight, briefly, and Michael makes it known that he really wants to die. Mr. Friendly acknowledges that his people have been keeping tabs on Michael, and now they want him to do something for him. Michael backs away, prompting Friendly to mention that Michael can't kill himself, because the "island" won't let him. (Is the "island" code word for network censors?)

Michael later tests that theory, and sure enough, even a fully-loaded gun doesn't do anything. He sees the news report that Oceanic 815 was found, all are dead, wreckage can't be recovered. He drops on by Friendly's place, where he finally finds out which was Mr. Friendly swings. (Gay and fierce! But dead.) Friendly feeds Michael the line that Charles Widemore bought a plane to bury in the ocean, that he paid to have an Asian grave dug up and bodies planted, everything is a Widemore production. Because he wants full credit for finding Mystery Island...? Michael believes it and gets his mission: Infiltrate the boat as a crewhand and then "kill everyone on board."

The parade of dead people continues with Minkowski, Naomi, and I think maybe Regina. Naomi and Michael bond over accents, while Miles knows that Michael's real name isn't "Kevin Johnson." Well, thanks for confusing us with that, Miles! Ben has a package delivered to Michael on the boat. Friendly calls. And then there's dialogging from Frank about how awesome it would be if they found some Oceanic 815'ers alive and how he (Frank) believes that there are survivors out there, somewhere.

Michael sees a bunch of the crew doing disc shooting, which is suspiciously killer-like, which Michael should know, so he rushes to open the package. It contains a suitcase. Inside the suitcase is a bomb. Michael places it in the engine room. He sees Libby again, who says "Not Yet," and that is just creepy. The timer goes off, and a tiny little flag pops up. A piece of paper reads "Not Yet," and I laugh so hard. It's like Michael is Wiley Coyote and Ben works for ACME! Hee.

Ben also calls Michael up (under the fake name "Walt") and tells him to be careful, or kill everyone, or something. Ben reminds Michael that the boaties will KILL EVERYONE. So he wants lists on and about every single person on the boat. Then Michael should sabotage the radio room and the engine room. Michael agrees, then Ben calls Michael "one of the good guys."

Barracks-land: Locke assembles a town hall meeting of sorts with Claire, Aaron, Sawyer, Hurley, Karl, Alex, Danielle, Ben and Miles. Locke tells everyone that there will be "no more secrets," which is a lie, but, whatever. Locke and Miles reveal that the boat people are there on the island to... look for Ben! "We kind of knew that, like, forever ago," snipes Hurley. But what they didn't know is that once they have Ben, the boat people have orders to kill everyone else on the island. (If true, why?) Miles switched sides, apparently, and will now help protect Ben from everyone. Ben also lets loose the bomb that Michael is his man on the boat, ticking Sawyer off to no end. Miles later tells Locke in private that Ben will manipulate his way into getting that money that he's supposed to pay, and that he is very good at getting what he wants.

Ben tells Alex that she needs to go to The Temple, a DHARMA station (?) that is a safe sanctuary. Karl is upset; he didn't know about it. Ben doesn't tell everyone, because then it wouldn't be a sanctuary, dolthead. You deserve to die for that kind of stupidity! (Heh.) Ben gives Alex a map to the Temple and says that she can't take Claire, Locke or anyone else, because it is "only for us." Danielle agrees to protect Alex, because if the boaties ever found out that Alex was Ben's daughter, they could kidnap her and use her as leverage.

Cut to.. hours later. Karl, Alex and Danielle are walking. They stop to drink some water and they drink for an eternity, my word, editors, that felt like FOREVER. Longest 40 seconds of my life! Karl channels Han Solo, saying that he "has a bad feeling about this." Then, a sniper attacks them, killing Karl on the spot. I rejoice, because I am cold, heartless and not a Karl fan. Danielle consoles Alex and promises to protect her. She even tells Alex "I love you," which is huge considering Danielle has only known Alex for about a week. So, of course, Danielle gets shot. They SHOT the French Chick. So, I guess she doesn't get a flashback episode, then. Alex surrenders to the unknown gunmen, declaring "I'm Ben's daughter! I'm Ben's daughter!"

What worked: The fact that we had one flashback take up most of the episode. That was rare and done really well. The actor playing Michael did a good job with his role.

What didn't work: The Rousseau deaths felt rushed and done more for shock value than for anything substantive.

Questions: How does the island chose who lives and who doesn't? How can that power apply off the island? How many times did Friendly try to kill himself? Is Walt still on the mainland? What will Gault do with Michael now that he knows he's a habitual traitor? Did Widmore really plant those bodies? Are the boaties going to kill everyone? Who killed Karl, and how can I thank them?

Next time: April 24, 10 p.m., ABC. I'm not even positive I know whose episode it is, actually. The promos make it look like a war is going to break out next episode, but, editing is deceiving, me thinks.