Lost: There's No Place Like Home, Part 3

This is part 3 of "There's No Place Like Home." (Or, the 10 p.m. hour of the finale. Or, if you prefer, the hour where all the crazy stuff happened.)

The Copter/Freighter:

The chopper has 4-5 minutes of fuel left. Hurley sees the boat, and they fly towards it. As the chopper approaches, Desmond runs out and warns for them not to land. Frank, flying on empty, doesn't see any other choice. Frank quickly uses duct tape to patch up the bullet hole (It's handy, sure, but... really?) Frank does his best to fuel the chopper again, he says. But, they don't exactly have any time to do so, because Michael has run out of frozen air. Kate has run in to get Jin, but, I don't know exactly what happened, but Jin takes forever to get out of the engine room. Michael has to tell Jin that he is a father and a husband, that he cannot be reckless. He has responsibilities. Jin then runs like he's going to blow up and tries to get to the chopper. Sun, Aaron, Desmond and all the others are in and taking off. After they are at least twenty feet into the air, Jin runs out. Sun screams. But it's too late for Frank to go back. Jin runs for the edge of the ship... And in the engine room, Michael is waiting to die (or perhaps wondering if he can die) when he suddenly sees Christian Shephard appear. "You can go now, Michael," he informs. "Who are you?" Michael asks, before the boat blows up. With Michael dead (being released from the island's powers), and Jin... maybe being dead. He wasn't in the center of the explosion. But as far as Sun knows, he is dead. And she screams and cries and this is a terrific piece of acting. But unsettling television.

Sun is screaming, saying that they have to go back. Jack uses his known bedside manner to sayL "Sun, he's gone. He's gone." Hearing that come from someone else silences Sun into shock. "Frank, fly us to the island," commands Jack, like Frank is some kind of taxi driver. Sun, realizing that Jin is gone, begins to cry again. (As well she should!)

The beach:
Apparently the ocean ate Sawyer's shirt, because he comes ashore without anything to cover his upper body. He sees Juliet with a bottle of DHARMA rum (Jack Sparrow would be proud). He asks her if she's celebrating. She's not. She points to the smoke from the freighter. Sawyer: "That our boat?" "It was," replied Juliet.

The Orchid:
Locke is panicking about the freighter. "It's not my problem, John," says Ben. Keamy, with his dying breath, warns Ben that "wherever you go, Widmore will find you." "Not if I find him first," dares Ben. And with that, Keamy gives up the ghost.

Locke becomes mad. Ben apologizes for stabbing Keamy, saying that he was overcome by "bad emotional responses." Ben, having previously loaded the time traveling chamber with metal objects, closes the doors and turns the room on. The room explodes, like metal inside a microwave. When that's done, Ben goes to change his clothes. Because that is a natural thing to do after killing maybe dozens of people and blowing up a room.

Ben changes into a DHARMA fur jacket - the same one he woke up in the Sahara desert with in the future. Ben says that he's going somewhere, and that Locke is not going with. "Whoever moves the island can never come back," Ben reveals. So Locke will be taking over Ben's command as leader of the Others. Just like he was maybe meant to do, years before. "Goodbye, John. Sorry I made your life so miserable," Ben says. And Ben and Locke shake hands, like Ben just didn't kill Locke's comrades. Locke leaves the station and walks to camp to find Alpert and company waiting for him. He stares the ragtag group over and smirks.

Ben goes inside the exploded room, where a hidden tunnel has been revealed. He climbs in with a crowbar, then falls down into an icy room. (Where he cuts his arm, like it was cut in the Sahara.) The room appears to be ancient, with hieroglyphics's on the wall. The room is icy cold. And as a result, icy. There's a big wheel, which is funny, because the producers were teasing this scene as being the Frozen Donkey Wheel. I didn't think they'd kind of, sort of mean, it's be a actual frozen wheel. Anyways, using the crowbar to loosen it up, Ben musters up all of his strength to turn the wheel. He curses Jacob in the process. But as he turns the wheel, a light appears. The more he turns, the more light comes out. Ben smiles. And then...

The light engulfs him. It engulfs everyone on the beach. (Juliet has never been more radiant!) It engulfs the whole island. (And it made the same noise as when the hatch imploded, too.) And then, the island is gone. There are a few ripples from where the island once stood. Other than that, there is no trace that the island ever once existed.

The chopper crew: (again)
After witnessing the island being moved, the chopper runs out of fuel. Sayid throws out a life boat before the chopper goes down. And underwater, there are the most pretty bubbles ever. The ocean is full of perfectly clean, pristine bubbles! Everyone is alive, incredibly. And they all get inside the life boat.

Hurley makes a comment about Locke actually moving the island. Jack says "No, he didn't." Hurley's all, dude, the island was just there, now it's NOT. But then it's nighttime, or maybe it's nighttime now in this paragraph, I don't recall. (My notes aren't THAT great, apparently.) But it's nighttime now, when they see a light. There is another boat out there. Everyone is excited, except for Jack, who looks terrified. He tells everyone that they have to lie, to protect those that they left behind. Everyone is ticked, but Jack tells them to just follow his lead.

The boat (Searcher) pulls aside and they start tying the boat up. Henrik recognizes someone and starts franticly yelling, "Ms. Widmore!" (Meanwhile, I was probably one of 100 people nationwide who recognized Henrik.) That Ms. Widmore is none other than Penny. Desmond is overcome with joy. Penny just beams. They stop to look at each other in momentary disbelief before giving us a kiss so great that it could stop time itself. This scene was so great, so emotional that it gave me goosebumps. Des asks "how did you find me?" "Your phone call," Penny explains. "I have a tracking station." They kiss again, and it is so completely happy and joyous, I will not lie. It is as happy as their Christmastime phone call. So, of course, Jack comes in, all ready to lie, and tells Penny that "we need to talk." Way to kill the party, sport.

ONE WEEK LATER (This show can do that?)

Penny & co. have evidentially worked out a convincing cover story. The Rescuer is bringing them to an island 3,000 miles away. Jack, Sayid, Kate, Aaron, Sun and Hurley all board the boat, saying goodbye to Frank, Desmond and Penny. Desmond remarks that "as long as I've got Penny, I'll be fine." So Jack brings their relationship full circle by stealing Des' famous line, "I'll see you in another lifetime, brother." "Aye," Des replies. Aw! Jack then tells everyone "let's go home." They paddle forever, for 8-9 hours, and wash up on shore in the village that they said they washed ashore at during the Oceanic Airlines press conference. INTERESTING...

Flash Forwards:

Sayid assassinates a man at 8:15 p.m. at Santa Rosa. He sneaks inside to Hurley's room, where Hurley is busy playing chess. "This isn't a visit," Sayid warns. He tells Hurley that circumstances have changed, that Bentham has died. Sayid tells Hurley that reports said that Bentham died of "suicide," but Sayid clearly doesn't believe it. Hurley asks why they keep calling him Bentham when his real name is---Sayid interrupts, saying that they are being watched. Sayid wants to take Hurley to someplace "safe," which is NOT the island. Hurley eventually agrees, after Sayid makes a comment about how his paranoia keeps him alive. Before he leaves, Hurley checkmate's his invisible chess partner with the black piece. But this invisible chess partner isn't Dave, it's Mr. Eko. Cheapest. Guest Star. EVER.

In London, Sun talks to her kid on the phone, until she can steal a minute of Charles Widmore's time. Sun introduces herself as co-owner of Paik. Widmore acknowledges that, but doesn't seen to acknowledge that she's one of the Oceanic Six. She calls him out on that, saying that he knows that they have all been lying. She gives him a business card, saying that they have "common interests" and that when he's ready, he can talk to her. Sun mentions that "they" weren't the only ones to leave the island. As Sun walks away, he asks her why she would want to cooperate with him. She doesn't answer.

Kate is sleeping in her bedroom when she wakes up, frightened. She then gets a phone call, full of backwards-speaking whispers. She freaks and gets her gun. Inside Aaron's nursery is... Claire. CLAIRE. CCLLAAAIIIRREEE. On the mainland! As in, off the island! Holding her son. She looks very sad, and... bloated? Emile de Ravine, uh, what...?? "Don't bring him back, Kate," Claire warns. And then Kate wakes up. It was a dream. I hate this show sometimes. HATE. Anyways, that dream/apparition/island's spirit/whatever was enough to move Kate to go to Aaron's room and apologize repeatedly to the sleeping child.

Jack, on his way home from the airport, goes back to Hoffs Dawler Funeral Parlor. It's late at night, and not open. So he breaks in. He goes to open the coffin, but he is suddenly overcome with conflicting emotions. He hesitates. He opens the coffin up. Who is it?

We don't get to see, because standing in the same room as Jack is Benjamin Linus. "Did he tell you I was off the island?" Ben asks. Jack clearly had no clue he was on the same soil as Ben. Jack last spoke to Bentham one month ago. (Kate, too.) He told him that after they left the island, some very bad things happened. And that he didn't blame them for leaving. And that Jack had to come back.

Ben comments on how dark Jack has gotten, like riding in planes, hoping they'll crash into the island. Ben informs Jack that he can't go to the island alone. All of them have to return. Jack laughs. Ben offers to help get the crew back together. (Or, at the least, Kate.) "It's the only way," Ben says. Ben has a few ideas of how to get the crew back to go to the island. But, Ben points out that all of them have to return. Including Jeremy Bentham, the man in the casket. Jeremy Bentham's real identity? John Locke.

Locke is dead. #@%*.