Here are some highlights for this week's television programs:
A new Prison Break airs, followed by Terminator: Sarah Connor airs on FOX.
Last night for voting on Dance War: Bruno vs. Carri Ann. Is this nightmare ending? Also on Dance War, the touring company of High School Musical will perform. Alert your children.
The semifinals conclude on American Gladiator on NBC.
ABC Family has a new Kyle XY.
TVLand has a new M*A*S*H*. (Just kidding!)
Jericho begins it's new season on CBS at 10. (If you were part of the campaign to save the show, then you have only yourself to blame if the show stinks.)
American Idol begins Hollywood Week, in which the artists can now use instruments.
NBC has a new 2-hour Biggest Loser at 8.
One Tree Hill is new at 9 p.m. on The CW.
AMC plays the slow-motion-happy film The Matrix at 8 p.m.
Lifetime has a Reba marathon beginning at 8.
Big Brother is new at 8 p.m. on CBS. But you would figure it was new, since the season just started.
On FOX, a one-hour edition of American Idol shows us who the Top 24 are, about a year after auditions started.
PBS at 8 has a new installment of America's Ballroom Challenge, featuring the fox-trot, quickstep, tango, Viennese waltz and waltz. (The show is like Dancing with the Stars, but without celebrities, which I guess is like Dancing with the Stars.)
NBC has a new Law & Order at 10.
Cashmere Mafia on ABC is also new at 10, in which Mia searches for a sex tape in Jack's apartment. Hilarious!?
America's Next Top Model is new at 8 on The CW. Watch to see if Tyra will be self-absorbed! (SPOILER: Yes.)
Denzel Alert: ABC Family plays Remember the Titans at 8:30.
Oxygen plays Catwoman with Halle Barry, because everyone liked that movie? (No lie,AMC was playing that movie. Why? It was a bomb. No one plays Cleopatra, why play Catwoman?)
VH1 plays Sixteen Candles at 8.
AMC forsakes movies for a Breaking Bad marathon beginning at 8.
Survivor: Fan Favorites airs at 8 on CBS.
Lost airs a new episode at 9, in which we learn another member of the Oceanic Six, followed by a new episode of the adorable Eli Stone.
The NAACP Image Awards are on FOX at 8.
NBC has a new Celebrity Apprentice on at 9, in which the contestants must manage a horse-and-carriage business. No, actually, I am serious.
NBC also has a new Lipstick Jungle at 10, in which I believe they introduce that show's "Mr. Big."
Smallville is new at 8 on The CW, in which Lex Luthor hangs around Detroit, which certainly explains the city's crime rate.
ABC Family plays the Lindsay Lohan version of The Parent Trap at 8.
The Miami Heat play off against the Chicago Bulls on TNT at 8.
MTV has Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew at 8:30.
If you haven't caught it one of the 30 times they have played it already, FX is playing Batman Begins at 8.
TCM plays Hello, Dolly! at 8.
Celiene Dion has a concert with Will.I.Am, Josh Groban, and, well, herself, at 9 on CBS.
NBC has a new, 2-hour Las Vegas at 9, in which James Blunt sings. Josh Duhamel, you're beautiful, it's true.
Hotel Rwanda is on at 8 pm on WXSP.
TBS plays Hitch at 8.
ABC Family has Mean Girls at 8, which I should probably watch because I heard it has some incredibly funny throwaway lines.
AMC has Letters from Iwo Jima at 8.
Seriously, it feels like there is nothing on for Saturdays. If you don't have social plans that night, consider at DVD.
TBS plays Cast Away at 8. Say it with me: WILSON!
Big Brother is new at 9 on CBS.
Dexter airs on CBS at 10. This is the edited version from Showtime.
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has a 2-hour new episode, in which a needy family will get a great new house, Ty will be annoying with the bullhorn and everyone will cry.
Part 2 of Pride and Prejudice will air on Masterpiece on PBS at 9. (Gillian Anderson, what have you done to that show?)
Knight Rider, a 2-hour TV movie, starts at 9 on NBC. Val Kilmer voices the new KITT in this "sequel" to the classic television series. If this movie does well, this will become a new series.
Cartoon Network is playing Zathura at 8. It's like Jumanji, but, it's not!
At 7, AMC is playing Terminator 2: Judgement Day, in which a robot is sent back from the future to blow stuff up.